100 Posts in 100 Days
In the last several months during the course of some coaching conversations, I’ve had “coachees” ask me some questions that have pushed me to be the person reflecting and to be explicit about some of my approaches, decision-making, and strategies. One of them even said, “Are you going to write about that in your 100 Posts in 100 Days?” 😊 This is the third Q&A inspired by these conversations.
Context: I was talking with a team leader in our school. She shared her observations of me when I am speaking to groups of teachers. Paraphrasing her, she said something like, “You are present with us and you speak in a way that it all makes sense. You have a group of us with different opinions and perspectives and when I look around we are all nodding our heads. So, you are there with us. But it’s also like you’re out of your body, looking down on all of us and reaching all of us. I want to be able to do that.”
Her question was, “How are you able to do that?”
A: It’s an interesting question. I’m not sure if I totally understand the “out of body” comment because I certainly don’t feel that when I am speaking to a group of teachers. But, her questions did make me think of 2 very specific things I consider when speaking to teachers about our work as a school. I told her I would offer 2 tips:
Tip #1: Language matters. Think about the tone and expectations you want to set and plan your use of pronouns. There is a difference between “my work”, “your work”, “our work”, and “the work”. The way in which you talk about it conveys levels of empowerment, levels of responsibility, and how the work might be approached. When your activities match the levels of empowerment and responsibility that you have conveyed, you offer clarity. That can lead to greater motivation, credibility and trust. For example, if the activity is going to be brainstorming and shared decision-making, then “our work” fits. On the other hand, if you talk about “our work” and then continue to be the only person speaking, your words and actions are in conflict, which can diminish trust and credibility.
Tip #2: Plan for your role and your purpose. Specifically for this teacher leader, we talked about the dueling roles of participant and facilitator. A facilitator guides the group and provides them feedback on their work and progress. A participant is fully engaged with the ideas and work of the group; generating, iterating, and implementing. Doing both effectively at the same time is an incredible challenge. Naming these roles and distinctions was almost a relief for the teacher I was talking with. “I can see it now. I have been trying to do both and it’s causing confusion for me and for my team.”
That moment of awareness and relief led us right into planning mode. She projected some of the work that she and her team will be doing next year. She made note of the kinds of meetings and planning sessions that she will be able to facilitate. She also noted the kinds of meetings and sessions where she needs to be a full participant and took it a step further. Together, we identified colleagues in our school who are in positions that can join the team and serve as facilitators in those sessions. Going in to next school year, she has a plan for how she wants to interact with and lead her team. Her purpose and her actions will be aligned, allowing her to be fully present.