100 Posts in 100 Days
As this new school year starts, I took a breath yesterday and wrote a short piece about downtime. Our bodies and our brains need downtime to recharge and rejuvenate. Downtime does not necessarily mean turning off our minds or neglecting thoughts and feelings. In fact, it’s the opposite. It can help us find the space to expand existing ideas and discover new ones.
I’m certain that it is the downtime of yesterday that has led me to my thinking today. That breath of air and those hours of unscheduled time helped me be ready this morning when I started to preview the week ahead. Looking ahead has made me think about another practice and value I hold: presence. German author and businessman Myrko Thum notes:
“The present moment is the only thing where there is no time. It is the point between past and future. It is always there and it is the only point we can access in time. Everything that happens, happens in the present moment. Everything that ever happened and will ever happen can only happen in the present moment. It is impossible for anything to exist outside of it.”
When I think of presence, I think of how I show up. As a school leader, showing up with and for our teachers and students is one of the most impactful actions we can take. It can also be a tension we face in the midst of competing demands and conflicting schedules.
I’ve been looking back at the last couple of weeks and reflecting upon how I showed up, or didn’t, at various events. As I’m looking at the coming week, I’m also acutely aware of the impact of my own planning on my ability to be present.
On Being Physically Present
The quote above reminds us that everything happens in the present moment. Being in the room with teachers, being seen, sends the message that I care what happens. I care about the work we are doing together and I care about the teams and individuals in the room.
To be physically present and demonstrate my care and commitment, I need to be fully in charge and aware of my calendar. Three school divisions were all in session simultaneously all week last week. At specific times, my own department schedule and events such as new student orientation were also taking place. It meant prioritizing some events over others and trying to strike a balance amongst them. Looking ahead, there are some days this week when our department will have a mini-retreat off campus. Inherently, I will be absent from some other events that take place on campus. Choosing where to be is a constant decision making process.
Tactically, some things that are helping me:
- Accessibility to important schedules. For last week, our leadership team had a shared document where we could link to each others’ specific agendas. That communication was invaluable as I planned my own schedule. It was also instrumental when members of my team had questions about the nature of work and schedules for each individual division. Looking ahead, the divisions publish weekly letters to their teachers with important schedule information. It takes me some time each week, but reviewing those helps me to know what is happening on campus and think about my role.
- Color-coding my calendar. I like visual cues and so coding certain kinds of meetings on my calendar reminds me of valuable information at a glance. Leadership events are red, my department events are aqua, meetings with partners or people outside of my school are yellow, and schoolwide professional learning sessions are lavender. When I look at my calendar, I instantly see the nature of what is scheduled, which also clues me in about the mental and emotional capacity to bring to each event.
- Communicating my absence. Choices will have to be made, that’s a given. And I made some last week. When I felt myself being pulled in multiple directions at the same time, I made a conscious choice to not attend a content session my team was leading. I explained my plan and reasoning to the team of presenters. I also returned, fully present, for the portion focused on reflection and feedback. For this week, I’ve already shared my planned campus absence for our department retreat with my leadership team colleagues.
On Being Mentally and Emotionally Present
Showing up in the room may be the easiest part of presence. How I show up is probably more important than if I show up. Because being physically in the room but working on something else, for example, is only a partial presence. It sends the message that, “I am here and I am aware” but it falls short of participation, partnership, and leadership.
Tactically, here are some things that are helping me:
- Preparing in advance. That color-coded calendar mentioned above helps me prepare in advance for scheduled events. I joke that being a school leader is “learned ADHD” because the nature of our discussions and work can literally change from minute-to-minute. From supervising arrival to visiting classrooms to answering a teacher’s question to helping a student solve a problem to listening to a concerned parent to planning a faculty meeting…the diversity of activities is wide and the cognitive demands are varied. When I preview my calendar, I can get a sense of what the demands of my day are anticipated to be and I can adjust my mindset accordingly. Being prepared for the scheduled events provides the space to be flexible and adaptable when the unexpected arises (which it always does).
- Leaving my computer/phone/devices behind. This last week, I found myself leaving my devices behind more than I have in the past. I also found myself carrying my work bag more frequently so that if I did have my devices with me, I could leave them tucked away when they weren’t needed. In the absence of devices, I literally found myself leaning in, listening, and making more eye contact.
- Pausing, paraphrasing, and breathing. Pausing and paraphrasing have long been my go-to coaching strategies (See Post #24: My Go To Coaching Skill). They work because their impact is to make others’ feel heard. The pause indicates thinking before speaking, the paraphrase indicates a check for understanding. Add in full deep breaths that others are likely to mirror and the tone of a conversation is measured and calm. Another reason the pause-paraphrase-breath cycle works is that oxygen flow to the brain is increased and heart rate is decreased. My mind and body are literally prepared for presence when I am using these techniques in tandem.
One More Thing
In the spirit of Post #96: One More Thing from earlier this week, I will say not one, but two more things, about being present. First, I restate what I wrote at the beginning of this post. I am certain the downtime of yesterday has helped me be present with myself and these ideas today. I am certain the downtime yesterday is setting the stage for me to be present with my family and my work this coming week.
Second, being present is about savoring the moment. Absorbing it for what it is. Soaking in all the joy and glory, accepting all the challenge and emotion. This exact moment will never again exist as Thum’s quote illuminates. Even when it’s hard, I’m trying to embrace each moment, doing what I can to show up and be fully present.